i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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