I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
