Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
