Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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