i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
