...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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