do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
