Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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