is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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