How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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