listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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