She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
