Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!