i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening