your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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