Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.