So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
