Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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