He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
