You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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