i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
