Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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