you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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