I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
