I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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