This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize