I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
