Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
