We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
