you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
