I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
