He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
