I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
time to smoke my breakfast
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
