Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
