you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
