she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize