Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
