haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize