oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is Oprah even human
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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