You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sext me about skeletons
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
