She's JV to your varsity
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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