alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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