we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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