if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You were trust falling into bushes
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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