No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
