i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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