Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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