I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
