I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
