Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
