Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
