physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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