It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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