Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Im part way to drunk.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
