Michael Bay diarrhea
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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