I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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