Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
