Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize