did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
