She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
