I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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