All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I party with great urgency now.
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