i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
