My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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