I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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