just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize