but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
