I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
