ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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