I think I died a long time ago.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
