Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
