I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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